This week, the UN and ONS released data stating that 97% of 1000 women have been harassed.įurther, 3 women per week were killed by men in the UK in 2019, representing a 14-year high. 1 in 5 women will be raped or experience an attempted rape and 1 in 3 women will be subjected to physical sexual violence in her lifespan according to the CDC (2015). Instead of being rare, male violence against women is actually very common.ģ0-50% of women have been victims of domestic violence by male partners and ex partners (CSEW, 2017) and 1 in 4 girls will be sexually abused in the UK before the age of 12 (NSPCC, 2017). It reminded me, after several years immersed in this type of work, that there were people out there who genuinely believed that the abuse and rape of women and girls was a rare occurrence in the world. Where me and my counsellors just sit around and play dominoes for want of something to do. I nodded at her, and let her continue her shift thinking that I ran this empty, quiet, unneeded rape centre in a town where the abuse of women and girls never happens. She genuinely believed that my job must be very quiet because rape and abuse of women and girls was so rare. “Well, you know, all that rape and abuse stuff, it doesn’t happen around here does it? You can’t be very busy…”Īnd that was when I realised she was being serious. I stared at her, thinking of the 357-strong waiting list we had for counselling and support services. “Well! You mustn’t be very busy then, must you?” It wasn’tsadness, or pity, or shock – it looked like confusion. The woman gave me the most extraordinary look. I tried to dodge the question by saying that I managed a charity, but she probed and eventually I told her that I worked in a rape and domestic abuse centre in our town.
She asked the question I often dread being asked in public, ‘What is it that you do then?’ She asked me if I was okay, and I responded that I had had a difficult day at work. The woman who always served me on the counter noticed that I looked particularly tired and troubled. In 2014, after a long day managing a rape and domestic abuse centre, I nipped to my local shop to get some bread. Women and girls are respected and supported when they disclose their experiences. Women and girls exaggerate or lie about abuse and violence ĥ. Women and girls should take responsibility to protect themselves from male violence Ĥ. The abuse, exploitation and murder of women and girls is rare ģ. To that end, I want to talk to you about what I believe to be the 5 most harmful views about women and girls which need to be transformed, and I want to tell you what I have been doing for the last 11 years to try to transform these views, to varying levels of success.ġ. We need to completely transform the way we think and talk about women and girls subjected to male violence. Women are positioned as mentally ill, liars and seductresses who lead men on, or cause them to commit acts of violence. Male violence against women is minimised, ignored, glorified, sexualised and excused. My research on this topic showed that views which seek to blame women and girls for male violence committed against them has reached so many different levels and corners of society that we have a real problem on our hands. These widely embedded views impact our justice system, mental health systems, education provisions and social care services. Whether it is her body shape or her sexuality, her character and behaviour is highly likely to be criticised and blamed for being subjected to male violence. Instead, the focus is switched back to the woman and everything about her comes under scrutiny. The most important thing to note about all these harmful myths about women subjected to male violence is that they serve one main purpose: to erase the offender from their own crimes and decisions. This list could take up my entire blog, and psychologists, feminists and activists have been trying to draw our attention to the way women and girls are perceived and portrayed since the 1960s.
Women ask for it and want to be treated like objects by men. Women exaggerate how common male violence is. Women use disclosures and reports as revenge against their exes. It only happens to poor, disadvantaged women, the uneducated and disempowered women. It only happens to women who were abused in childhood.
It only happens to young women and girls. It only happens to women who wear revealing clothes and have no self-respect. It only happens to naïve women and the women with low self-esteem.
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